Name: Ralph Brentner
Home: Unknown (Has an "Oklahomian" accent)
Post-Plague: Boulder, Colorado
(2020 CBS All Access Miniseries)
Peter Van Norden (1994 ABC Miniseries)
43, 45, 50, 51
"She did like Ralph. He was a simple soul, but canny. He had a feel for how things worked. She was not surprised that he had been the one to get what everybody now called Free Zone Radio going. He was the kind of man who wouldnʼt be afraid to try epoxy on your tractor battery when it started to split open, and if the epoxy did the job, why, heʼd just take off his shapeless hat and scratch his balding head and grin that grin, like he was an eleven-year-old kid with the chores done and his fishing pole leaned against his shoulder. He was a good sort to have around when things werenʼt going just right and the type of man who always somehow ended up on relief when times were flush for just about everyone else. He could put the right sort of valve on your bicycle pump when it wouldnʼt mate to a tire bigger than the kind that went on a bike and heʼd know what was making that funny buzzing noise in your oven just by looking at it, but when he had to deal with a company timeclock, heʼd somehow always end up punching in late and punching out early and get fired for it before very long.
Heʼd know you could fertilize corn with pigshit if you mixed it right, and heʼd know how to pickle cukes, but he would never be able to understand a car loan agreement, or to figure out how the dealers managed to rook him every time. A job application form filled out by Ralph Brentner would look as if it had been through a Hamilton-Beach blender... misspelled, dog-eared, dotted with blots of ink and greasy fingerprints. His employment history would look like a checkerboard which had been around the world on a tramp steamer. But when the very fabric of the world began to tear open, it was the Ralph Brentners who were not afraid to say, “Letʼs slap a little epoxy in there and see if thatʼll hold her.” And more often than not, it did." - Mother Abagail (Chapter 50)